Someday.

This is the part where I see you across the room, noticing the details of your profile and build that I noticed the first time we saw each other. I’m not sure it’s really you, because I’ve tricked my mind into seeing you so many times before. Over the years my expectations have slowly lowered. At times, I’ve given up and even moved on. This wait has been so long.

This is the part where you turn your head and I see your face. You are so amazingly handsome to me. I doubt that you are who I think you are. I don’t fully recall your appearance, and the only way I’ll be certain is if you recognize me, too. The first time I saw you was so incredible and so strange. That experience has consumed my thoughts many times since then, especially in the beginning. So many questions plagued me. I don’t know if you saw me. I don’t know what you’re like. There’s an idea of you in my head and I know I shouldn’t have these expectations. I want to clear my mind of all that keeps me from getting to know and appreciate you; you’re far better than my imagination, and I know that.

This is the part where you see me. I feel anxious despite every attempt to calm myself. What do you see in me right now? What did I look like when you saw me? Did you see me at all?

This is the part before our eyes meet. I’ve felt this mixture of anticipation, fear, and forced apathy dozens of times before. It was always followed by disappointment.

This is the part where you look into my eyes. I see a spark of recognition and try to suppress my rising hope, but I know just who you are. I wonder if you have someone. I hope you can forgive me for everything I’ve done while I wasn’t waiting for you. I wonder why I didn’t wait.

This is the part where you smile in acknowledgement, then turn to the person you’re talking with. I feel a hint of jealousy for your attention.

This is the part where you begin to walk my way. I tell myself that this isn’t you. This isn’t you. This can’t finally be you…

This is the part where you say “hello.”

This is the part I’m desperate for.